hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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