I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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