At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
