I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Randomize
