Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
