Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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