I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
