She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
