Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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