I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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