I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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