she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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