Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
