Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
