i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize