he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
