Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
