this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
