there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
