I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
