i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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