Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize