I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize