is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Go christen that room with your naked body.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
