just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize