Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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