How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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