dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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