I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
