I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
