I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
