So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
