Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
