please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize