The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Your penis caused this!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
