I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
