But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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