omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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