Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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