Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
