Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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