Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
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kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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