Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
