thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
