hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
