He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
