see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
