Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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