He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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