so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
tell me about the fingering
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