Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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