i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
