May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I want to fling myself into the sun
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
