It's Friday. Sex?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
