Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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