A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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