New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
