shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
