just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize