I look better un-naked...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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