What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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