i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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