Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
