thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
