Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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